So Much I'd LOVE to tell her. . .

I worked on mail today. . . birthday and anniversary cards. . . graduations, sympathy cards, and Thank You Notes too. . . but I couldn't write her or send anything.

How many times have I started to address an envelope, or pick up the phone to call and tell her what was happening? Every time, there is an ache in my heart, because there is SO MUCH I'd LOVE to tell her.

She always listened . . . at least until her life was reduced to one room with a few things in it. Then, she would ask, but attention didn't last long. I still told her stories, brought pictures, and she would look and listen. I still sent music, and shared it with her when we were together.

I miss that . . . almost as much as her prayers for me. The broken connection with my precious Mother. . . it really hurts. She has been gone more than a year now, and there is a large empty space in my heart and life where she used to be.

But I have hope. . . she is with Jesus, and our connection is through HIM! One day soon, we will be together again too, and I can tell her all my news. . .

One day soon, I will take my oldest daughter and leave her with strangers. Hopefully, they won't stay strangers for long, but still. . . they don't know her like I do.

There is SO MUCH I'd love to tell her too. . . just need to make the time.

Tell her how much I love her. . . and always will.
Tell her how special she is. . . and always will be.
Tell her how much I will miss her. . . no matter how close or far away she goes from me.
Tell her how very proud she has made me. . . as her mother.
Tell her that I will always pray for her. . . all day every day . . . without ceasing.
Tell her that I will always be there for her . . . even if I can't get to where she is.
Tell her that I know Jesus has a special plan for her life. . . and a job that no one else in the whole world can do just like SHE can do it.
Tell her. . . Jesus loves her so much more than I do. . . and I can't imagine how that is possible, but He DOES!
Tell her. . . she will always be my FIRSTBORN. . . and that makes her amazing to me.
Tell her. . . I think I just did. . . and I still can!